Monday, April 4, 2011

Questions/Reactions Every Natural Haired Girl Gets


Those of us who choose to go sans hair-straightening chemicals (no shade to the relaxed homies) get some very interesting questions and reactions about our hair. The most comical questions usually come from those who are completely unfamiliar with the nuances of black hair outside of Chris Rock’s “Good Hair” and that one black girl in their dorm in college.
Here are just a few of the situations every natural haired black girl will encounter at one time or another.

Can I touch it?Le sigh. The knee-jerk response is to say “No,” but it kinda depends on who’s asking. If it’s some wide-eyed individual looking like she’s on a zoological expedition, then absolutely not. You can even be kinda mean about it if you want! Just give her “the look” and keep it movin’. If it’s a woman next to you in the beauty supply aisle, maybe. It’s good to help a sista out. If it’s some sexy brotha on that “I love women with natural hair” tip– probably not. That’s a little intimate to be running your hands through a stranger’s hair, right?

Is it real?I have a big glamorous afro (yep, glamorous) and over the past year or so, an interesting thing has started to happen. So many people are wearing “natural hair” wigs, that people think my big ebony cloud of cotton candy is fake too. The killer part is when they get really close hoping to spy some glue or something. No glue here, buddy. Best response to such tomfoolery? Bat your eyelashes, smile, say “Yes, it’s all mine” and don’t break your stride. #gottaloveit

How does it do that?When you have the type of hair that loves you so much it tries to be as close to you as possible (it’s tightly coiled), any hair straightening leads to very dramatic results. I go from hair that is a foot wide on either side to hair down my back when I get fancy with the flat iron. Co-workers are always most interested in this transformation. Sometimes even other black women are shocked by the results. How to respond to the “how does your hair do that” question? Smile (always smile) and be honest about however you achieved your look. Any further interrogating need not be answered.

You would look so fine with straight hair.Dudes are straight clueless sometimes. Some men really and truly can not find beauty in any hair that is not long and bone straight. If you’re a gal who embraces her naturally voluptuous, hell-raising curls, you will catch shade from some of these men from time to time. If it’s a stranger, just give him the stink-eye, suck your teeth and keep it movin’. If it’s a man you’re dating, just bounce, girl. It’s not that hair is soooo important, but it’s just some stupid ish to say and who needs that? If it’s not serious, just move on to the next one. You want a straight haired chick, get you one, sucka!

Your hair looks amazing.Awwwww, our favorite type of reaction! So nice to know that you’re not the only one who likes your hair as it grows out your head. A genuine smile and a “thank you” are definitely in order.

Stank faceGenerally, it’s all love for the natural hair mesdames, but every once in a while, you’ll get the stank face from a woman who feels some type of way about seeing nappy hair in her midst. Ignore this woman. She is not worth your breath, energy or even a thought really.

Look of sheer horrorThat is the description of the receptionist’s face at one of those super white hair salons that don’t know jack about black hair. If you have a big fro or locs or any hairstyle that is really really black, you MUST at some point go into this type of salon and ask for service. The facial expressions and terror are priceless. You can just giggle and walk away afterwards. No need to prolong the torture and for goodness sake, don’t actually let them touch your head!

What have been some of your more interesting encounters as a natural haired madame?
-Courtsey of Madame Noire

2 comments:

Unknown said...

This post >>>
lol I love it!

IdiotDrool said...

The last reaction, lol.